Why Does My Child Do the Opposite of What I Say

By superadmin on September 30, 2019 in Blog

Parents have a tough job of raising kids and making sure our sons and daughters get a bright future. However, there are just those times when our patience is put to the test.

Our kids mess the table, throw away the toys, repeatedly flick on and off the lights, shout at random times and other things that remind us how challenging it is to be a good parent. At times then we wonder why our kids do the exact opposite of what we say.

Why does my child do the opposite of what I say

There’s no clear and consistent explanation for this. Perhaps our kids are just naturally curious or they just want to get our attention. It’s also possible that it’s just all random like how we adults behave at home, workplace or in public. Although there are specific factors that explain most of our behaviour, the dynamic interaction among those factors make it appear like it’s all random and unpredictable.

This is a similar case with our kids because their natural tendencies, environment, the things they saw through the internet, their playmates, their parents’ behaviour, what they constantly hear from family and neighbours and other factors each plays a role in the final outcome. It is highly complex which is why by the time we gain a clue of what’s going on, our kids have already grown up.

But why is it exactly that our kids do the opposite of what we tell them to do? Well, it might also be good to drive our attention away from our children and instead pay attention to what we think and say. After all, our kids are still actively exploring and perhaps they just respond from our words and actions.

What do we think and say then? One thing is that maybe we are focusing too much on the things that went wrong. For example, 9 out of 10 the compliance was there. But of course, we only remember that single thing where our kids messed the table. It’s also possible that we think it’s unnatural (it’s not how things are supposed to be). Perhaps it’s time to step back and consider that our kids are now trying to establish their independence. Instead of telling them one thing, maybe it’s more helpful if we give them options so that they could practise being independent and making their own decisions.

It’s a great start right there. But remember, it requires ongoing work because we can never figure out exactly what’s going on inside our children’s heads. We can never catch up but good news is, we can always guide them and help them develop their potential.